Wednesday, September 2, 2009 5:34 AM
Today, I was pissed again. Not pissed with anyone else but just me and me alone...
Today I was looking at the Goals part of the poster the school distributed at the start of the year to be pasted at the class notice board. I was scanning through the goals of my other classmates and then i saw mine. On the words of that piece of paper was "Top 10 in class".
I then started to realise how slack i was for the past 9 months. I had no motivation, no goal, no target. There was no direction i wanted to go, just drifting as the wind carried me... My graded assignments were mostly 'b's with a few 'A's and my test results about the same. Some classmates tried damn hard to achieve that same result but they did try their best whereas i did not. I didnt even give in my best, so I didnt think a deserved it. Those classmates were like very satisfied whereas i felt 'so-so'.
I feel its all about how i view things and my mindset. I never used to slack as much in my primary school days. I was practically a mugger at that time, studying on the bus as well. My goal was to get in to DHS and yep, i achieved it but now there's no goaland there'snothin to achieve, thats why i am so slack.
Even in choir... There was a time where I was one of the first to finish PT but now, I seem to come up with excuses FOR MYSELF such as " I sprained my ankle" or "I have a cough" so that i can slack.
I usually have some bursts of motivation but they are damn short. usually for about 4 days or so but they are effective cos the assignments I get during that span always get 'A's. Its probably cos I have this mindset that 'Nothing in this world is perfect' and so I don't strive for perfection. Or maybe its just that I'm too "bo-chap".
I hope that today I will finally realise my goal and strive to achieve it although its quite late already
